Today's gripe

I've been gone for a few days, mooching off my Florida family and applying golf therapy to my sore back...

There's no excuse for a four-putt green. To all of you non-golfers, let me explain. When you land your golf ball on the putting green, the idea is to put the ball in the hole, usually in two strokes. If you are far from the hole, your first putt gets it close enough for your to sink it on the second putt. Occasionally, you screw up and don't get your first putt close enough to the hole, and then you miss the second putt. This is murder on your score.

But putting four times on the same green is beyond screwing up, beyond unlucky; it's a hint that you have no business being on a golf course.
On Friday, I four-putted three greens – three of the first five holes I played that day.

But of course, I have an excuse. I haven't been playing golf that long. In fact, I only started playing in 1962.