Friday, May 23, 2008

Today's gripe

A couple of weeks ago, I went down the driveway in the morning to get the paper and found all of the trash I'd put out the night before scattered over the road, driveway and flower gardens. Dog, I thought. "Raccoons" offered my wife.

So I wised up and rigged a bungee cord to secure the lid to the trash can. Well, this morning, I went down the driveway and again found every bit of trash scattered all over creation. Muttering and cursing, I retrieved all the greasy remnants, and then I saw them - in the soft dirt where I'd recently planted grass - paw prints!

If you're reading this, Fido, know that I'm on to you. You've dragged the last chicken carcass out of my can; you've licked your last butter wrapper! You may be able to undo bungee cords, but let's see you figure out the combination lock!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What about the trash collectors? How will they get your junk outta the can?

Park Burroughs said...

Details, details!
I'll paint the combination on the side of the container.

Brant said...

It's kind of embarrassing, considering the business I'm in, or maybe it's appropriate in some twisted way, but I have a dog who likes to eat newspapers. Maybe it's the soy-based ink. Who knows? They're not quite as inventive as 'coons when it comes to getting into things, but once a dog gains access, he or she can cause one helluva mess. And isn't it fun picking up and rebagging all that slimy garbage by hand?

Anonymous said...

You must have awesome trash collectors! If I locked my can, it would be (still full) on its side, halfway down the driveway.

Anonymous said...

Environmentally friendly method:

Try spreading Black Pepper or Red Pepper Flakes near where you need to keep animals out of/away from...

It's strong for their noses and works as a great garden deterrent too-

Your Fan in Suisun City, Calif.