Today's gripe

Some people have a tendency to try to make what they say seem more important by making singular words plural. Instead of saying, for instance, that a child's behavior is bad, that child exhibits bad behaviors.

The one that puts polliwogs in my pants, however, is monies. You know, "invest your monies in these funds." I don't know about you, but I have only one kind of money to invest, and it's American. I don't have any bundles of British pounds or euros or Czech crowns to invest. Just plain old American money. But it's monies you hear about more and more, and before long you'll be hearing expressions like: "monies don't grow on trees"; "put your monies where your mouth is"; and "monies talk."