Thursday, July 30, 2009

Today's gripe

You'd think it wouldn't be too much of a problem selling one stinking copy of the newspaper, but let me tell ya...

Got an e-mail from a guy yesterday who lives out of the area, wanting to read about his hole-in-one that was published on the sports pages recently. I wrote back that we didn't publish everything online, such as the sports agate, but that he could order a copy of the newspaper from our circulation department, and I gave him the toll-free number. He writes back, "That's about as cheap as one can get. Thanks but no thanks."

So, I answer, "And someone who is too cheap to buy even a newspaper..."
He answers, "No thanks to you and your newspaper I did have someone buy a paper for me and send it to me at no cost to me. Can you say your paper would have sent it to me postage paid?"
I answer, "Of course not. We are in the business of selling newspapers, not giving them away, or mailing them at our expense."

Today, he writes again: "I will sleep soundly knowing you have never given a complimentary copy of your paper away to anyone for any reason. Even if asked for by the president of the United States."
So, I answer, "Let me know when you become president."

Jeez Louise! The Sunday paper costs a buck. Let the moths out of your wallet, pal.


Ellipses said...

Shhh! They are free at eat n park... you just have to wait until the brunch crowd heads back to Strabane Woods to snag one.

I guess we can find out who this feller is by going back to the sunday paper and seeing who got a whole in one?

Brant said...

What is this guy going to do, frame the half-inch, one-column notice of his life-changing achievement?

Ellipses said...

whole = a hole

This guy = a-hole

Anonymous said...

You can afford to play golf but can't afford to pay for a paper.
What a joke.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to know if he bought a drink for all of his golfing buddies; which, as I understand, is customary.

Brant said...

He probably invited them over to his house for a glass of tap water. But no ice. That starts to run into real money.

Anonymous said...

Better to send the President a complimentary paper, lest he think you are guilty of racial profiling.

Anonymous said...


wonder if he called WPXI to see whay they didn't cover it?

Ellipses said...


Hell, a hole in one calls for at least 30 seconds on CNN!